XYZ and ABC

Mere jeevan ki tragic kahani!!!


Its about this guy XYZ and this girl ABC..ABC is in my school,my frand..close frand..I was having an affair with her,when this XYZ just walked in pata nahin kahan se..and lured her by writing poems and stuff for her and took her away from me..*sniff sniff* ( and No, I'm not a lesbian..convent school mein hote toh shayad samajh sakte! *sigh* ). Thats when me,Sukanya and Akanksha ( ABC is aku's second option and aku is my daughter..so like..whatever..its okay I don't mind sharing ABC with my daughter man! :p) decided to be mean and take revenge..so this is what we've been upto these vaccations!

we started by HATE MAILS to XYZ,sadly enough he thought they were amusing! :\

Dearest XYZ,

O receiver of this mail we solemnly apologize for the use of explicit words n phrases , n also "stalking" ,sole intention has always been TORTURE
So mr.barud how are feeling ??explosive?!huh! We can see how you have brainwashed ABC,our pretty little ABC into an evidently love struck one. She's been ditching her friends 24x7 and thinking of you. We know you'd invaded her dreams. U "BITCH"!
Why don't you just explode and die ! U filthy toerag, scumbag, you wretched fool!
YANNADA RASCALA???????
You have brought upon black clouds in our lives by stealing away the light(ABC)
WE DESPISE YOU FROM THE DEEPEST CHORES OF OUR BEING.
Every fibre of our heart wishes only torturous and much painful death for you!
ROT IN HELL!!!!!!

LOTSA "LOVE"
Radhika
Sukanya
Akanksha

Next came a HATE POEM,dumb and funny he called it :(

BHAG JAO!!!

XYZ oh XYZ!
How DARE you steal?
The apple of our eyes,
Uski udadi tumne neend!
Bhagwaan kare tumhari baj jaye been,
WE ARE MEAN,WE ARE MEAN,WE ARE MEAN!

Tumhari angrezi hogi uske liye khaas,
Lekin humme lagti hain bilkul bakwaas!
Dharti par aa jao hum hain hindustani,
Tu uska aur teri ABC maharani?
Aisa toh tum sochna bhi mat!!
Yeh kabh nahi hoga aur yahi hain sach.

The first time you met at oxford you were shaking,
Wish we were there for some LEG-BREAKING!
Your love has since been cooing,cooing,cooing.
God knows what has been brewing,brewing,brewing!

Hume tumhari Hindi par hain shak,
Pata nahi kya karte rehte ho,bak bak.
WE WISH YOU EXPLODE!
Or we could turn you into a TOAD!
WE won't give up!
We will make your life REALLY TOUGH!
You will REPENT your decision forever.
Humse panga mat lena,NEVER NEVER NEVER!
Abhi bhi samay hain,tum bhaag jao!
KAT LE YAHAAN SE,NOW NOW NOW!!!

From all YOUR "well wishers"!

AN INITIATIVE BY SAVE ABC FROM THE CLUTCHES OF VICIOUS MONSTER(XYZ) CAMPAIGN!
REGISTERED MEMBERS-45,49,45,985 crores.


Insab ka uspar asar zyada kuch nahin hua..bas usne humare mails aur poems ko interesting kahan aur hamse tang aakar hamse bola ki hum khoon choosne waali chudaelein hain aur use aisa 3rd degree kis baat ke liye de rahe hai! ( like he didn't know..Hmph! grr!)


SO then..hamare backup plans!


PLAN #1


DHOOM XYZ!
According to this,we were supposed to go and plant a bomb in XYZ's room so that he dies and we can have our ABC back..matlab woh thoda ro dho kar use bhool jati aur normal ho jati,phir toh woh mere aur aku ke paas hi aati na?! ;)


PLAN #2


HIJACK!!
ek din maine XYZ ko convince kar liya ki woh 12th ke baad meri hi bus mein conductor banega( yeah,Imma be a bus driver after 12th..aur kuch pata nahin mile na mile..kaash main OBC ya christian hoti..*sigh* )
Anyway,so we decided ki woh conductor ki seat par baitha hoga and I would drive to aku suku and ABC's place,get them onto the bus,(hijack the bus basically..woh bhi jaan boojh kar!! :P) then they'd handcuff him to the seat ka handle and beat him up infront of ABC's eyes..! (yes we're ruthless..pyaar ka badla khoon se! GRRR!!!) phir aakhirkaar ek din ABC hame maaf kar deti..because we're her friends afterall and only want uska bhala ( which means hum XYZ ki maut hetu uske character ka assassination kar dete!! :P).

PLAN #3

OPERATION PHOOKH DALO!
We decided ki XYZ ke jeete, hum ABC aur XYZ ke beech mein phookh dalte..aur phir plan 1 implement karte..so that jab XYZ mar jata,ABC ko koi dukh na hota aur woh hamare paas laut aati!

PLAN #4
The most recent one..

MANDIR!!
*drum roll please* yes,yes..ABC and XYZ have been waiting to know of this plan!
Yeah,so we decided ki hum log itne mahaan hain,I mean we're ridding society of viscious monsters like XYZ and the like..as in jo logon ka pyaar unse chheen lete hain..So we'll open up a Mandir called RADASAKU'S SANKAT'S COOL MANDIR. Uske andar Radhika,Akanksha aur Sukanya ke wax models hote..jinhe log poojte..aur hum obviously pandit bhi hote uss mandir ke..
Then ofcourse the bhajans would be poems written by the three of us..I would compose the music and with the help of the HMM ( heavy musical melodies,my music soc) we would do a three-four part harmony in them and the best bit! we'd chadhao bali's! yes the viscious monsters would be our bali's..!! and Umm..no prises for guessing who our first bali would be,XYZ!!!!!! so we've curretly put all our other plans on hold and our gathering funds and stuff to buy the plot right infront of XYZ ki room ki khidki..I beg of you people,to please donate whole heartedly for this solemn cause..!! is-hi mein sabki bhalayee hai! trust me..mujhpar guzri hai I know How excrutiatingly painful it is! *SOB SOB,blows her nose*

PS- See I'm so nice,I haven't even disclosed their Identities..most of you will be able to guess..but those who are unable to..either keep guessing or ask me..if you think you know who XYZ and ABC are!! :P
Have fun reading,while I shall wallow in my grief here!! *Sniff sniff*

For those who haven't seen my facebook profile :p

RANDOM STUFF BY MY FRIENDS AND ME


sadhvi : "fail! not happening.."
(referring to time..which we sang for the farewell..lots of fun and dumbness happened :) )

nidhi : "tum dono nautanki ho!.."
(referring to me and my brother)

Nimmi : "head gal,slap her on the head na!"
(Telling Jennifer,Head Girl to slap me for laughing and not singing the solo part properly!)

Anku : "i wasn't crying okay (obviously she was) and i do not love him..''
(Called me at 1:30 am to tell me that Shambhu (Sambhav) is going away..)

Shreya : "metal is not a choice in music,its a choice in noise!"

nallu : "Radhikal extremist,nice name na?"
"how will an alto person restart the computer?Ans : by pressing ctrl + alto +delete " lol
(AU meeting madness :) )

ateesh : "why,for all we know,you must be sneha 'KAUR' Ravichandran! "
sneha : "kaur?? just the way ravichandrans cannot be from punjab,saxenas can't be from kerela!!"
(again,AU meeting madness :p )

Aleesha : "no ji! you're a chor! you liar! "
(referring to the fact that I stole her BSB cassette..I mean c'mon,why would I steal a BSB cassette fo go'd sake?!
No actually I did,and I gave it to her in the form of her budday present! lol)

Tanya : "kya jaanna hai tujhko? its your budday gift and you wanna know??!!"Radhika : "Ofcourse i do! "
(typically me! :p)

Radhika : "Man! i wish i knew kannada.."
Ishani : "what! who's kannada??!""i'm a mother's blossom! :) "
( AU madness yet again! )

Vasudha : "oh soogar,soogar soogar..you're my yalpenleebae!Sukanya's budday gift! "
(Random school pagalpan! :p)

Sukanya : "aaj se tu p1v1 aur main p2v2!"Radhika : " And ofcourse p1v1=p2v2 !! "
(For those who don't know,Boyle's law :p)

Aru : "mammi,mammi..wazzzap??bhaoo,bhaoo,wuff,wuff!"
(doggy bhasha)

Ma'am Usha Sharma (our physics teacher) pointing to the diagram on the black board and asking,what's BC?
Saumya (very confidently,loud enough..thank god the teacher didn't hear!! ) : Bh** C*** lol
(On my Birthday!! extra class madness)

Saumya : "wah! kya chemistry thi!"lol
(Beena : Radhika,yexplayeen the mechanism yof Rusting..
Radhika : yes ma'am..went on and on without a breath in b/w..
Beena : Gives that embarrased smile
Saumya's comment on that! :P )

Suchanda( when we entered the lab for comp. prac): "where were you both?"Abhilasha :" ma'am hum log? oh! we were outside,praying!"lol :p

Nangia : "Bo!"
(she couldn't spell boo! )

Radhika : "oh my god,they have cold water,wow!"
(when we went to Oxford the second time,just to have water! )
Vasudha : "That guy is wearing a woman's shirt!"
Radhika : "Thats cause he's metrosaxual!"
"I'm pretty sure he plays the saxophone"
Vasudha : "And she said that cz she's sax/ena!"
Radhika : "WOW! that made sense!"
(during CP bhraman! )

Vasudha : "damn she survived!"
(On My suicide attempt no.1)

Radhika : "hello auto uncle!"
vasudha : "Aunto uncle ke peechhe na blueline uncle hain,jo tumhe maar denge!"
Radhika : "Hello Blueline uncle!"
Vasudha : " aao mujhe maaro blueline uncle!"
Nangia : "there she goes again,suicide attempt no.2! lol
( On the way back to Oxford,to drink water! :P)

"The metro guy : "Agla station rajiv chowk...(pause) hah!" lolThe metro guy "
( Our (nik and mine) first metro ride without an adult..Vasudha pointed out the metro guy's wierd way of announcing! )

"kripya,viklango,varishta nagrikon va mahilaaon ko baithne ke liye jagah de.."
Radhika : "hey! we are also mahila,gimme a seat!"
Nangia : "you know,i really wouldn't want to be called a mahila "
Radhika : "ya actually,you know,mahela jayavardhane is a srilankan cricketer!"
Nangia : ".......okay....lol?!"
( On the way back after dropping Vasudha at patel nagar)

I've been TAGGED :)

1. Last movie seen in a theatre:

Horton hears a who..its the cutest animation flick everr!! just sooo awwww and Jesse Mc'Cartney sings so well last scene mein! :p

2. What book are you reading?

The Alchemist

3. Favourite board game:

Scrabble,ludo,snakes and ladders,monopoly,life..and umm I still play some of them when i'm highly bored! :P

4. Favourite magazine:

READER's DIGEST! :D

5. Favourite smells:

The wet soil,kerosene,petrol pump air.. :P

and umm everything fresh :)

6. Favourite sound:

The sound of music! lol

I just lovveeee music! The best thing in the world :)

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?

WHY ME?!!! I WANT TO SLEEEEEEEPPPP!! :]

9. Favourite fast food place:

I don't know why,but its KFC!

10. Future child’s name:

I don't know! yeah,but my friends did name my kids..idiotic names!

11. Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…” :

Buy as many chocolates as possible :) would save some for me and give the rest to some orphanage :)

.12. Do you drive fast?

I'm under 18,no license :(

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

holding a pillow :)

14. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?

NO! eww! :p

15. Storms - Cool or Scary?

Cool as long as I don't precipitate Asthama at night :)

16. If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?

Its fine the way it is at present.. :)

17. Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:

Dilli,Bhopal,Mumbai,Jaipur,Udaipur,Nagpur :)

dilli-by default! :p

My relatives stay baaki saari jagahon mein..and I visit my cousins pretty often :)

18. Favourite sports to watch:

Not really interested,but can stand cricket..

19. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:

Abhilasha - Bunking partner,awesome frand :p ,hateli..pagal! :P

20. What’s under your bed?

slippers and shoes,toffee rappers too :)

21. Would you like to be born as yourself again?

Umm..No thanks!

22. Morning person or night owl?

Night owl!!! :D

23. Over easy or sunny side up?

????!!!

24. Favourite place to relax:

ghar,Sadh's and miri's place,koshi's place,tanti's place,Aunt's place,Pallo's place to name a 'few' :P

25.Favourite ice cream flavour:

Strawberry and chocolate :D

26. You pass this tag to –Samson,Miriam,Nik and Aku :)

27.Among people you tag, who do you think is going to respond the fastest?

Samson and Miri hopefully :)

HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE! :D