Mere jeevan ki tragic kahani!!!
Its about this guy XYZ and this girl ABC..ABC is in my school,my frand..close frand..I was having an affair with her,when this XYZ just walked in pata nahin kahan se..and lured her by writing poems and stuff for her and took her away from me..*sniff sniff* ( and No, I'm not a lesbian..convent school mein hote toh shayad samajh sakte! *sigh* ). Thats when me,Sukanya and Akanksha ( ABC is aku's second option and aku is my daughter..so like..whatever..its okay I don't mind sharing ABC with my daughter man! :p) decided to be mean and take revenge..so this is what we've been upto these vaccations!
we started by HATE MAILS to XYZ,sadly enough he thought they were amusing! :\
Dearest XYZ,
O receiver of this mail we solemnly apologize for the use of explicit words n phrases , n also "stalking" ,sole intention has always been TORTURE
So mr.barud how are feeling ??explosive?!huh! We can see how you have brainwashed ABC,our pretty little ABC into an evidently love struck one. She's been ditching her friends 24x7 and thinking of you. We know you'd invaded her dreams. U "BITCH"!
Why don't you just explode and die ! U filthy toerag, scumbag, you wretched fool!
YANNADA RASCALA???????
You have brought upon black clouds in our lives by stealing away the light(ABC)
WE DESPISE YOU FROM THE DEEPEST CHORES OF OUR BEING.
Every fibre of our heart wishes only torturous and much painful death for you!
ROT IN HELL!!!!!!
LOTSA "LOVE"
Radhika
Sukanya
Akanksha
Next came a HATE POEM,dumb and funny he called it :(
BHAG JAO!!!
XYZ oh XYZ!
How DARE you steal?
The apple of our eyes,
Uski udadi tumne neend!
Bhagwaan kare tumhari baj jaye been,
WE ARE MEAN,WE ARE MEAN,WE ARE MEAN!
Tumhari angrezi hogi uske liye khaas,
Lekin humme lagti hain bilkul bakwaas!
Dharti par aa jao hum hain hindustani,
Tu uska aur teri ABC maharani?
Aisa toh tum sochna bhi mat!!
Yeh kabh nahi hoga aur yahi hain sach.
The first time you met at oxford you were shaking,
Wish we were there for some LEG-BREAKING!
Your love has since been cooing,cooing,cooing.
God knows what has been brewing,brewing,brewing!
Hume tumhari Hindi par hain shak,
Pata nahi kya karte rehte ho,bak bak.
WE WISH YOU EXPLODE!
Or we could turn you into a TOAD!
WE won't give up!
We will make your life REALLY TOUGH!
You will REPENT your decision forever.
Humse panga mat lena,NEVER NEVER NEVER!
Abhi bhi samay hain,tum bhaag jao!
KAT LE YAHAAN SE,NOW NOW NOW!!!
From all YOUR "well wishers"!
AN INITIATIVE BY SAVE ABC FROM THE CLUTCHES OF VICIOUS MONSTER(XYZ) CAMPAIGN!
REGISTERED MEMBERS-45,49,45,985 crores.
Insab ka uspar asar zyada kuch nahin hua..bas usne humare mails aur poems ko interesting kahan aur hamse tang aakar hamse bola ki hum khoon choosne waali chudaelein hain aur use aisa 3rd degree kis baat ke liye de rahe hai! ( like he didn't know..Hmph! grr!)
SO then..hamare backup plans!
PLAN #1
DHOOM XYZ!
According to this,we were supposed to go and plant a bomb in XYZ's room so that he dies and we can have our ABC back..matlab woh thoda ro dho kar use bhool jati aur normal ho jati,phir toh woh mere aur aku ke paas hi aati na?! ;)
PLAN #2
HIJACK!!
ek din maine XYZ ko convince kar liya ki woh 12th ke baad meri hi bus mein conductor banega( yeah,Imma be a bus driver after 12th..aur kuch pata nahin mile na mile..kaash main OBC ya christian hoti..*sigh* )
Anyway,so we decided ki woh conductor ki seat par baitha hoga and I would drive to aku suku and ABC's place,get them onto the bus,(hijack the bus basically..woh bhi jaan boojh kar!! :P) then they'd handcuff him to the seat ka handle and beat him up infront of ABC's eyes..! (yes we're ruthless..pyaar ka badla khoon se! GRRR!!!) phir aakhirkaar ek din ABC hame maaf kar deti..because we're her friends afterall and only want uska bhala ( which means hum XYZ ki maut hetu uske character ka assassination kar dete!! :P).
PLAN #3
OPERATION PHOOKH DALO!
We decided ki XYZ ke jeete, hum ABC aur XYZ ke beech mein phookh dalte..aur phir plan 1 implement karte..so that jab XYZ mar jata,ABC ko koi dukh na hota aur woh hamare paas laut aati!
PLAN #4
The most recent one..
MANDIR!!
*drum roll please* yes,yes..ABC and XYZ have been waiting to know of this plan!
Yeah,so we decided ki hum log itne mahaan hain,I mean we're ridding society of viscious monsters like XYZ and the like..as in jo logon ka pyaar unse chheen lete hain..So we'll open up a Mandir called RADASAKU'S SANKAT'S COOL MANDIR. Uske andar Radhika,Akanksha aur Sukanya ke wax models hote..jinhe log poojte..aur hum obviously pandit bhi hote uss mandir ke..
Then ofcourse the bhajans would be poems written by the three of us..I would compose the music and with the help of the HMM ( heavy musical melodies,my music soc) we would do a three-four part harmony in them and the best bit! we'd chadhao bali's! yes the viscious monsters would be our bali's..!! and Umm..no prises for guessing who our first bali would be,XYZ!!!!!! so we've curretly put all our other plans on hold and our gathering funds and stuff to buy the plot right infront of XYZ ki room ki khidki..I beg of you people,to please donate whole heartedly for this solemn cause..!! is-hi mein sabki bhalayee hai! trust me..mujhpar guzri hai I know How excrutiatingly painful it is! *SOB SOB,blows her nose*
PS- See I'm so nice,I haven't even disclosed their Identities..most of you will be able to guess..but those who are unable to..either keep guessing or ask me..if you think you know who XYZ and ABC are!! :P
Have fun reading,while I shall wallow in my grief here!! *Sniff sniff*
21 comments:
I like the social satire in your expressing a desire to be an OBC or a Christian. Not to mention Convent School affairs. That said, the whole thing just gave me a strong sense of deja vu. No, really.
And boy, do you think ABC is a naive simpleton or really.
Oh, and the deepest chores of your being? O.o
Do you mean pores? Try aloe vera gel.
Umm I can only laugh you know! lol forgive me love,for my childish eccentricity! :P
and no we didn't mean pores! and I do not like aloe vera gel..its soo..ughh..yuckhh!! :\
and I love the sarcasm in -"That said, the whole thing just gave me a strong sense of deja vu. No, really." :p :P
*Screw the really in the first comment. I meant similar.
Jeez.
LOL Omg! similar huh?! aaaaaachhhhhhh!! :D
Tooooooo Good!
Obviously, I don't know who you're talking about...right?!
*evil grin*
To quote your very words,"I had lotsa fun reading it.":P:P
Lotsa*10 to the power infinity.:D
Poor thing.How is he alive,itni gaaliyan ke baad bhi,huh?:P Kuch toh luck hoga.:|
And I like Vas ka sarcasm too.:P
P.S:I still cant stop laughing.Kudos to the three of you!remind me to congratulate you guys personally on monday.Okay?:P:P:P
@ Kika : Ya you aren't supposed to actually know,but if you do then yay! jai ho! :p
@ Prerna : LOL, koi luck nahin hai uska..woh bach gaya because we've put our other plans on hold to collect funds for the mandir and everything na..! once yeh saare kaam complete ho jaye..sab theek ho jayega.. tab tak I will wallow in my grief..*sniff sniff*
And yes, I shall remind you,no worries..!! Main jaldi cheeze nahin bhoolti you see..!! and now you know,our holidays have been so creative,eventful and fun,ie if we ignore the idiot coaching people and the piles of work they thre on us.. :\ *sigh*
* threw on us..
and yeah,Vasudha has nothing but sarcasm to hold onto after reading this post! hahhaha!!
Here's another Plan
Move on.
:P
Talk about revenge!
Quite amazingly, all the ones who have posted know who you're talking about.
Sigh.
Except me.
WHO? (:P)
Awesome.
I love such stuff.
If we had the intention of moving on we wouldn't have made so many plans naa,DUMBHEAD!!!
BEST POST,EVER;)
I know because I have really sneaky freinds...
(No offence to people who know what I'm talking about)
@ Bharat : You finally commented huh?! wow thanks! but umm don't worry I'm not moving on..well even if I do I'll make sure 'they' don't know..so you see I'll keep plotting and torturing them in every possible way! :P
@ Lasha : Oh shut up! you very well do know alright?! :P and yeah..revenge is what I want,and I shall have it! :D
@ Aku : Yo dude! it sure is the best! *Beams* and yes,I completely agree to your response to Bharat's comment.
@ Kika : Lol,good you do..If you didn't,fun nahin aata tumhe post padhne mein! :P
Hey kool posts as alwayz .. Keep up the sick ... Oh sry hehe the gud work lolzzzzzzzzz :P
Yes well..ahem..lol! THANK YOU! :D
I got as far as plan two before I gave up.
lol why? cz you couldn't digest so much of hindi? :p
More like the inability to go through so much random crap. No offense kid. :P
Post a Comment