GIRL WITHOUT A FUTURE ( APPARENTLY )

Hello everybody!
I'm Radhika Saxena, and I'm the girl without a future.
I know not what I want to do in life,but having had two years of science,I'm sure I don't want to do anything related to science! So what will I do then? OH MY GOD!! I'm REALLY A GIRL WITHOUT A FUTURE!!!!! *gasp*
I don't think so,neither do my friends,but my parents and brother sure do!
It all started in July. Eversince school reopened I hadn't attented a single period in class,mind you A SINGLE PERIOD..First we had the Carmel feast which I had to sing for,then the opening ceremony of the cultural week,then I had to write certificates for all the competitions,ONE WHOLE WEEK no studies,nothing and then RHYTMS!!! The Biggest competition by far! The bestest too!! ( forgive me for using words that may not exist or are incorrect,I hardly care at the moment. )
I'm not blaming the activities or myself,I love doing such things!! Esp. singing,what would I do without singing one day? *Struggles to Imagine*
Kahani mein twist?! Ji haan bilkul,the time has arrived *Drum roll* No one at home knew of all this,not even me singing for the mass! as if I'd told them,they just wouldn't have let me! They said no to all my extra curricular activites last year itself,esp. to singing. They must understand,God didn't give me a voice without a reason..!!
Anyway,yes so they didn't know and it used to kill me inside to be missing so many classes,felt so guilty,like some horrible crime I'd committed and no one to understand,console me..I used to cry,sooooo much! Then I went for Rhythms without telling anyone at home,I only know how I managaed it,they staybacks,pracs in school,sneaking my phone to the competition etc. etc. I'd come home be horribly tired,and usually go to bed. Mum got paranoid,started yelling.. "You fool,why aren't you studying? Do you want to fail?!" I'd look at her and tell her,I'll do it,I will,I always do. But she didn't believe me.
The competition was over,we won! I was relieved,no more lies,no more missing classes,no more crying,peace atlast!
But God had wayyy more for me in store.
My mum started spying on me! yeah,beat that! She went to school one day,without telling me,to meet my teachers and ask them how I'm fairing at school..she had never done this before,NEVER. My teacher told her that I'd been missing too many classes and that it'd be hard for me to cope up,I cried endlessly that day,I don't think I'd ever cried that much before..twas a horrible day. But I thank my teacher for one thing,she did not tell my mother about me haveing been to the competition. That really wouldn't have mattered,but I thank her nevertheless.
Then the terms,I slogged my ass off,I really did. Studied till late night and shit..
I studied so that I could do well and then ask my mother for permission for going to competitions. But no,God had to be overtly mean. My performance in the terms = horrible!!
Lowest ever in English,Maths,Swati Das was so dissapointed,I let everyone down..more than that,MYSELF.
I don't think I'll be able to dream anymore,set my goals high,be confident in anything. My self esteem has crippled. I feel bad,very bad.
As if to add to my grief,my mother said " Beta if you're going to continue like this,then forget engg. you won't even get through DU!"
Thanks Maw,you made my day. You weren't there to support me with things I like doing,ever..like EVER. When have you ever smiled and said,"Go for it beta,win the competition ALL THE BEST!"??!! WHEN?? Did you give a shoulder to cry on during the whole of July and August? Were you there? did you even know? You're just self cenetred.
But thats still okay,not an issue. DU doesn't give admission on the basis of your marks in the terms,the boards are all that matter.
Plus I have the ECA quota too,I can sing to save my life.
But then again,I will have competition with people like Suhani Jain,Sherry Mathews,Apoorva Gandhi,Atish Thukral,Pearl Sabharwal..!! and if I do get in,I don't want to be singing under any kind of pressure by the music soc people( which is mostly the case ) Man, what am I gonna do? will I make it,anywhere at all? WHAT WILL I DO??!!
All roads seem to have come to a dead end,I see nothing but darkness ahead of me.. I don't know where to go.. I can'tcry anymore,won't help,plus the tears just don't come,have dried up I guess!
My future seems so bleak,uncertain.
I have no future at all.
If I don't do well in the near future,I'm definately commiting suicide.
Yes its an option.
and Future competitions,One left,Bergin's I know I'm going,will have to lie again,no other option,not fun I know..but whatever.
So,now you all know why exactly you should never take up science if you're involved in some extra curricular activity in school and there's a scope for you to excel in it,and precisely the reason why I've been lamenting and am upset.

TAG!!!!!

ALL ABOUT MUSIC!!!!

5 - You’re going on a long journey, what five albums MUST you take with you? Albums that you need to listen to regularly.

The Fray : How to save a life.

Nickelback : Silver side up.

Oasis : Don't believe the truth.

Strings : Dhaani.

Porcupine Tree : Deadwing.

4- What four albums/songs do you most associate with a memory? You know, the ones you listen to that transport you back to a place and time.

Fuzon : Khamaj

Love the song.. Reminds me of the time I was in 8th,that year was so much fun! Pinto's class! Class leader ( ALL BECAUSE OF NANGIA!! GRR ), Bharti,Jhakaas..SO much Fun!! Miss it. :(

Linkin Park : Forgotten

My friends saw my crazy roop for the first time!! Tanya's birthday,28th July '04.. Headbanging..!! :D

Kelly Clarkson : Breakaway.

Sang this song everywhere,for HMM auditions in 2005,for AU auditions in '07..got in! :D

26Th October '08,Fortune Magazine show.. after prac..me and Nimmi'd be alone in school (waiting for her parents to come,My brother's budday,the first time I shook hands with ughh you-know-who!! :D) and would sing it in Harmony!!

Venessa Amorosi : Absolutely Everybody.

This song!! so much fun to sing! esp. my mallu version of it! Basket Ball tournament,two years back..fun!

Oh shats..!! Chaar gaane ho gaye..Me wants to write more :(

3 - Your three favourite songs of all time?

Savage Garden : Gunning down a romance.

Natasha Beddingfield : These words.

Metallica : Nothing else matters.

2 - Two feel good songs, the ones that are guaranteed to lift the blues and put a smile on your face.

Artistes Unlimited : Fly.

Porcupine Tree : Stranger by the minute.

1 - Absolute, overall, undoubtedly the best album of all time, in your opinion.

Savage Garden : AFFIRMATION!!!!! :D

Lowe it Oh-SO-MUCH!! :D